It has been more than 3 months since I started working. On top of my usual 5 days a fortnight role, I had an opportunity to contribute back to the academic world by doing some casual marking for an University. The flexibility of this casual role means I can read and mark assignments in the evenings, weekends and some “down time” that I have through the week.
Juggling with work and family makes me count my blessings even more. The opportunity to even have a chance to do participate in the workforce while raising a family in comparison to my friends back in Asia, or even my mother who had to work after 3 months off having me (shift hours too!) is much appreciated. I have a new found admiration for mothers who work FULL time and juggle a family. For some women, they threw in a few kids in that mix too.
It makes me reflect on how resilient families are. How we “manage”.
A child brings many joys to a family. To a couple, a child is a product of them. With the child comes many changes to a marriage. It brings a new meaning to “family”. Sometimes, I sit back and look at us and think “is managing enough?”
Managing meaning we get through the day, the week, the month. Be it finances, or the day to day mundane household chores, it’s keeping our head about the water and staying afloat. But is managing a detriment to couple hood or marriage?
Since having Asher, the vulnerabilities of marriage become even more apparent to me. Managing our day to day isn’t enough to keep a family going. How easy for us to “manage” and then one weekend we realised that we need to work on US. Working on us keeps our marriage and family going. What are some warning signs though? Both of us realised that all we talked about is Asher, work, schedules and finances and other commitments. While those are important, we realised we needed to re learn how to be us again. Interestingly enough, we rarely argue, but it’s the danger of slipping into the normal “managing” routine of lives and not working on us that alerted us.
What do I mean by that?
– Hubby and I have not gone on a date since April 2014. That’s 7 months. With my MIL over here, we made an effort go re connect at his work function.
– Which reminds me that attending his work function provides me with another sense of who is he and what he does. Yes, I listen everyday, but it’s nice to put things into context and meet colleagues that he spent most of his day with!
– Pray pray pray. Praying together. We do that but we need to do that even more.
– On rare occasions, grab the chance to just head out together. We had 15 minutes one day before we fetch Asher from daycare. So we bought a coffee and just chatted. The guy at the counter asked if it was ok that they are closing in 15 minutes time and it would be a quick coffee for us- we laughed. 15 minutes is precious!
– Not forgetting to be kind to each other. How often we are tired and a harsh word get said. I’m getting better at slowing down and expressing how I feel in a calmer manner.
– Our thing is to find good coffee in Perth. We have started to have some fun with it. Making our own commentaries, laughing at ourselves and joking that we saved quite abit of money with me drinking normal milk or almond mil rather than soy now. Also, the joys of finding places that make almond milk coffee.
– Discovering our love language again.
I hope that in another few months, and I will read this post again. In reflection that marriage is such a lovely journey. One that it’s so easy to take for granted, but amazingly rewarding as we built it.
Off tangent here but I wanted to share with you this lovely summery almond tart. It’s quite dense and has a frangipane tart flavour to it. I came across a similar recipe by My Darling Lemon Thyme – A local Perth blogger!! I made this for a gathering with another couple, and it went down well. Hope you enjoy this too.
Almond Strawberry Tart
2 cups of almond meal
1 tsp of vanilla
1/4 cup of coconut oil
1/2 cup of almond milk
juice and zest of 1 lemon
1-2 tablespoon of honey
pinch of salt
4 huge strawberries sliced
Handful of almond flakes
Oil 13by5 inch tin very well. Preheat oven to 180C. Whisk vanilla, eggs, honey, oil, milk, juice and zest together. Fold into almond meal and salt. Spoon and press down tin. Place sliced strawberries and almond flakes on top. Bake for40 minutes. Serve with thick yogurt, cream or ice cream.