Words That Nourish

Banana Chia Pudding (Paleo, Gluten Free, Vegan)

Recently I had 4 gorgeous days to myself. The whole zika virus in Singapore and Malaysia means I was advised not to travel. The decision did not come easy as the trip was to celebrate my brother in law’s wedding. It was meant to be a family affair, one that hubby and I looked forward to for months. Still, being pregnant means there are more risks- one that we are not willing to take with reported cases of mircophely associated with the zika virus. After giving it some thought, we decided to have hubby and Ash travel without me.

I mentioned in my previous post that this pregnancy has somewhat been different for me. The first one was full of excitement and joy. I was sick but happily sick. I might be spewing in the toilet and looking grey for most of the pregnancy, but the idea of having a baby- one that we were told we could never have, just seem so overwhelmingly blessed. I struggled big time with working then as the nature of my work means long hours and travel in the car.

This pregnancy is our 2nd miracle. We have defy odds. With the pregnancy comes joy in the first second and panic in the second. Many thoughts flew through my mind. I have just settled back to regular work. One that I enjoy going to, feeling challenged and stimulated. As most would agree, the people you work with are just as important as the work. I was beginning to feel like I am settling. Then bam. Pregnancy means I would have to take time off and with much uncertainty to where I will go when I return.

Then it is the awareness. The awareness of what will come ahead. The sleep deprivation, the thoughts of juggling with a pre scholar and a baby, the labour process- or in my case, awareness that the doctor would recommend c-section the 2nd time round, the cries that you may never soothe, the concern that I may not be able to give this baby as much as I did with Ash…

It also came with a lot of nos and rejections. The no travel to Asia to see my parents/in laws/bil wedding, the no you got to rest because you have some spotting and cramps, the no you have to stop doing so much, the no you have to reduce intensity of the workout, the no the darn pants won’t fit anymore… and of course, the no to Ash when he wanted me but I had no more fuel to give. Then we were put on a ‘higher risk” list as bub came out positive with one indicated of down syndrome. Suddenly, the focus was more on knowing that his heart will be ok, and there are no deformities. When that happened, the guilt set in on how can I worry with SUCH LITTLE things when this little life may not have even existed?

This verse struck firmly in mind.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

God is good and our prayers have been answered. Things will work out eventually. Right now, we are back to being at the low risk marker. I’m feeling better. And the trip? It was a blessing in disguise because I have not experienced 4 whole glorious days to myself … in what I cannot remember when.

What did I enjoy?

-HOT drinks and meals

-On my own agenda. A quick duck to the shops? No problems!

-Groceries done in 30 minutes

-Shopping. Proper shopping

-Silence

-Sleep

-Concentrating on a friend’s conversation

-Clean house

-Less laundry

-No crumbs

-I can play the music I want to hear!

-Being by myself in the toilet and shower

-Hot long showers

-Did I mention sleep?

So the 4 days ended and I’m definitely feeling more refreshed. The madness will begin and it will be a long time till I get this freedom again.

I’m sharing this lovely pudding that I have been having for a snack (or post dinner 4th meal of the day). It’s quick, easy and definitely healthy and tasty.

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Smacked right in my 2nd Trimester….

Woah! A blink and it’s already October. My last post was in July! While I managed to write in my first trimester, hitting the 2nd trimester was getting into me. A few challenges hit us as we had to navigate through this pregnancy. A few scares + exhaustion + nausea over took me. Yes, you read it right. I’m still experiencing morning sickness although it is certainly a lot better as the weeks goes by. Things are certainly looking up and I’m feeling much better.

I haven’t stopped cooking and baking. If you follow me on Instagram and Facebook, you will noticed that I’m still cooking away. Even more so as I went on gumtree and bought Thermomix. Yes! After hesitating for 2 years, we decided that I will need another sous chef as we approach being parents of 2. My food processor is starting to show it’s age after 7+ years of weekly use so we decided to splurge on a fancy machine.

My post today though is an update of how I have been managing fitness and food through the 2nd trimester. I still have not yet weighed myself but using clothes and what I can do as workout as a gauge.

What has not changed?

I still workout 4-5 times a week.
I continue to do boxing, HITT, weight training and metabolic conditioning
We continue to eat with a focus of nutrition
My meals and snacks are usually planned out

What has changed?

My workouts have been modified. At week 20, I realised I can’t do full burpees anymore. At week 22, I get an odd sensation even doing a modified burpeee (without pushups). I regressed and do squat with a wall pushups. I’m finding I can’t run as much, or do jumping lunges/squats. Abs workout are more pilates core movements.
I take breaks and slow down. If I have a harder workout on Monday, Tuesdays are gentler.
I eat more carbs. On the days I work out, or the morning after, I tend to indulge with two slices of sprouted bread.
If I feel more hungry, I eat. I don’t use to have morning tea, but I find that I do get hungry 2-3 hours, so it is better to anticipate it and have something ready than to eat “whatever”.
My snacks have changed. I eat even more protein. I snack on eggs, greek yogurt, cheese, nut butters, bananas, nuts, avocado… Basically, it has more variety and I’m eating more often. I’m eating more dairy simply because I feel like it.
I try to sleep more.
I drink a lot of ginger tea
My coffee intake has decreased. Probably an average of 2 coffees a week.

Compared to my last pregnancy, I certainly do not get the cravings for refined carbohydrates as much. Perhaps it is about reading my body better, or by increasing unrefined carbs, it get what it needs.

My mood has been terrible for the first 20 weeks. I felt that I was walking in a cloudy haze, feeling absolutely miserable. Constant nausea, exhaustion, and trying to meet my expectations of how I do my job, operate at home and being a present focus mum was so not working. Many times I resorted to the I-baysitter, using devices to keep Ash entertain while I lie on the couch. I even fell asleep reading him a story before! Poor kid. Learning how to scale back and say no was something that has never been easy for me. It was also what prompted me to take a break from blogging and just focus on getting my health back on track. I take naps when I do get Ash down for one. If I’m unwell, I totally stop exercising for a few days. I started scaling back on some commitments.

I’m not sure when I will be back writing. I do still want to use this space to reflect on this pregnancy and document more food experiments. I’m still very much active on Facebook and Instagram so please hop that that see more. Till the next time, take care 🙂

Me and Bump at around 20 weeks

News Flash! Hello Baby 2!

I have been quiet.

For this reason.

We are happily and excitedly expecting our 2nd baby!

Our history indicate that having 1 baby is a miracle. To be able to experience this another time, is truly a God’s gift. We prayed, we left it to God’s hands and surprisingly (or not so), it happened.

I think back to my first trimester with Asher. Oh what joy, oh what fear and what agony. The knowledge that miscarriage is higher for us. The unforgiving morning sickness that left me hugging the toilet bowl. The visit to the doctor’s office which he told us it’s hospital or rest with monitoring at home. The non-stop-eating. The non-stop-puking.

And then 3 years passed. Here we go again.

The first trimester

Fortunately, I haven’t had much spewing. Just non stop nausea, fatigue, headaches,bloating and feeling “sick”. Still, I count my blessings that I continued to work, having to take minimum time off as I cope with these symptoms + viral infection.

I had to admit there were times where TV was my life saviour while it entertained Asher as I sit resting. Ginger tea, and water seems to help. Eating regularly works too. I was perpetually hangry. Often feeling sad, pale, unhappy,and angry even when there isn’t any food in sight!

I learned though, and stocked our fridge and pantry with relatively nourishing and nutrient dense food. Yes, I did had dim sum twice, and totally craved for zamberos and it’s black rice for 2 weeks in a row. Yes, we bought a packet of sweet potato chips once, but we shared it out and finished it only 4 days later (a mean feat!). I did crazy things like making myself a banana, cacao, date, almond milk, peanut butter shake at 8:30am in the morning just barely 2 hours after breakfast. Oh, and I heated that one up too. Hubby fried an egg for me at 10:30pm at night and I had it with kimchi.

Me having my hot cacao banana date drink.

Mostly though, I managed to eat well. Eating more, but better than when I had Asher. I attribute it to better eating habits, but also filling my body with more nutrient dense food prior to conception. With Asher, I was craving for heaps of carbs and I always wondered if me going low carb was a contributing factor. I was stuffing myself with breakfast biscuits (No way!), rice and just whatever carbs that I could get my hands to. This pregnancy, I didn’t have that urge to. I just needed to eat. I’m still fearful of weight gain, and my bump is noticeably bigger, but I feel like I have a better relationship with food and nutrition.

Pregnancy is definitely a test for me. I feel fat, big and it’s a little sad saying farewell to my skinny jeans at week 8. Amazingly, I managed to fit into non-maternity clothes till week 13 and has only recently started taking out those to wear again.

It is an ongoing process, I will have bad days, I shall admit that. Already I feel that I am gaining weight too quickly despite eating relatively better (it is still more). I feel that it is so easy to give in, and had to be conscious about it. Perhaps it is a combination of hormones, or my old self lingering (with my ease of weight gain), but I just have to keep going and keeping tabs. Hubby has been a great encourager and monitor.

In terms of exercise, I had a few breaks, but mainly maintained with less intensity. I can’t seem to get a 16 kg turkish bell up, I have slowed down, and every workout seems to be harder work. This is all expected I suppose and I will keep chugging on. I’m proud that I’m still deadlifting, and squating (still doing 32kg gb squats). Listening to my body and slowing down. My motto is to “Turn up and if I don’t feel well, just stop and leave”. So far, I managed to finish all workouts, despite the pace and lesser intensity.

Baby’s health is going ok. My NIPT was great but scans revealed that I need more monitoring. That again, reminds me that there are greater things to be concern at this stage. It’s not something I can control but only in God’s timing will I know what will happen.

Asher is excited to be a big brother. Often speaking to my tummy and then saying “baby isn’t talking to me!” oh that poor little man! Soon, he will learn I am sure.

So here we go! I will be back to update of course, Heaps to chat about. Still, this time round, I’m going to be documenting my journey and thoughts on being a parent of 2!

(me and my bump!)

Asher turned 3! A gluten free, healthy and mostly paleo party.

Oh hello there! Welcome back to my little space. I haven’t been far. Just pre-occupied with a few things. This time however, I’m back to document Asher’s 3rd Birthday Celebrations.

This year, I have been sucked in the whole concept of birthday parties. Asher, having his love for wheels suggested one day he likes a fire engine theme party (what would a 2ish year old know right?!). Anyway, having hear his sales pitch of his list of guests and his love for fire engines, I was sucked right in (didn’t take much) and went researching how do I give a fire engine theme party.

I did take the easy way out, and managed to come across a 1960s vintage fire engine that is being re vamped for kids parties. From there, it just seems certain that we are having a fire engine theme party.

Our family continued to lived with our philosophy of eating- as healthy and as real as it can be. From that, food planning was easy. An afternoon spread of:

Asher’s Strawberry and Chocolate Birthday Cake with Ganache and Coconut Caramel.

I’m not sure what I was thinking and used coconut/tapiaco- not an usual blend for a big party. It turned out “okish” but certainly not my best bakes so far.

Fruit Kebabs that appeared to be gone in an instant…

Fruit Jelly- Made of grass fed gelatine, coconut water, strawberries and kiwi. I buy my gelatine from here. I’m really happy with this jelly and made it quite a few times for parties/pot lucks or just because.

Miso Butter Chicken- Something warm for winter

my all time favourite! Smoked Salmon Mediterranean Loaf. Adapted from this recipe here.

Dips and Veges- Featuring my Cashew “Cream Cheese” and Chives Dip. LOVING nutritional yeast. Who would have thought blender cashews and nutritional yeast and chives would give such lovely protein hit of a dip? A lovely friend brought a gorgeous garlic and herb dip.

Cheese and Nuts

Sushi

Sweet Potato Chips

That’s pretty much it! We went against the usual norms I guess but it is food that we would generally have + a few treats (like sushi, cheese, sweet potato chips..).

I love how much fun our little man enjoyed himself!

I wish we have a photo of him running away when the tap was being turned on! Still, he enjoyed every minute and thought it was very special.

From a blink of any eye, my little baby is turning into a little boy (Big boy he would correct me). His cheekiness, laughs and that twinkle in his eyes. His sense of humour, affectionate ways, cautious, empathic, yet curious amazes me. Not to mention how creative he is starting to become, stacking things, role playing and building… I cannot imagine what he would be like when he is 4, but the beauty of parenthood means I get to enjoy him. The way he is. Right now.

Product Review: Crayola Colour Alive!

Product Review: This review is brought to you by Nuffnang and Crayola.

A cool packaged arrived. Not one, but FOUR awesome colouring books from Crayola for our enjoyment and review.

Crayola Color Alive – Disney Frozen
Crayola Color Alive – Marvel Avengers
Crayola Color Alive – Mythical Creatures
Crayola Color Alive – Enchanted Forest

Asher, being 3 soon, absolutely loves to doodle, draw and colour. Crayola has been one of our first choices of first crayons to purchase. One of our favourite products would be their paint and huge pavement chalk.

Crayola Colour Alive uses current technology to bring our children’s colouring literally to life. I remember hubby (Being in the IT industry), telling me how cool toys would be as they turn 4D. Imagine his happy smiles when he saw Colour Alive technology come to life.

The generosity means that Asher and I spent quite a few hours of quality time together, choosing the pages and colouring over them. Mr Bossy of course decided that I would colour and he would let me know what colours he wants. As a mum, I like anything that is easy to package and bring along in our travels, so I’m pleased to see a little pocket at the back where the crayons can be kept.

The colouring books are simple enough for a 3 year old to flip through, hold a pencil and colour. He still needs plenty of my help, but those material isn’t unfamiliar to him. When you watch the video, you will see that Ash is particularly fond of Frozen….

All we needed to do after colouring is to download an App “Colour Alive” onto our iPad or phone. Turn the App on, choose the theme, point the camera over it, and select 4D or magic effect. Then see your colouring come to life!

I recommend saving your special 4D character. That’s where the fun begins! You get to turn it around, make it kick, and even take photos with it.

The products RRP at $7.99 each and are available at major leading retailers. Each pack includes six Crayola Crayons, one Special Effects Crayon, 16 Action Coloring Pages, and FREE app download (iPhone, Android and Windows Phone). Drawings with the Special Effects Crayon will add amazing animated effects to your coloring page within the Color Alive app.

For more information on this please visit the website http://www.crayola.com.au/products/color-alive-product/.

Salted Caramel Popcorn Double Chocolate Cake (Gluten Free)

One of the things I love to do, is to create cakes for birthdays. It allows me to go “Indulgent” but staying on the relatively healthy side.

I often spoke about how parenthood open up many doors. In this case, it allowed hubby and I to build friendships out of our usual circle. Humans likes predictability. Over time, we sat in the same spot at church, speak to the same people, and even park at similar spots each time! Parenthood ignited our quest to learn how to parent with Christian values, seeking like minded people to discuss dilemmas. Often there may not be any solutions, but it feels good having people to have the discussion, and a community that will look out for each other.

So when a birthday comes by, and it was our turn to host, I jumped on the chance. Oh ok, I couldn’t resist the challenge of making a cake for someone who doesn’t always like the “healthified” version of things. Truth is, I just think if we eat real, it will be ok.

So here come this cake. Yes there is some chocolate, and yes, we used coconut milk for the ganache. The popcorn isn’t “Paleo” BUT i love the salty and crunchiness it adds to it. By the end of the day, we had NO cake left. And that made me happy.

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Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies (Using almond pulp) + Taking breaks

Do we need more cookie recipes? I vote yes! There is something about cookies that shouts comforting. I love the smell of these when it is fresh out of the oven. I created these using left over almond/cashew pulp from our fresh almond/cashew milk. I hate letting things go to waste, and would attempt to make something out of the pulp each week.

To make them more crispy, I deliberately toast them a little more. I omitted any oil but use nut butter to bind them together instead. Anything with chocolate is good isn’t it? So in goes 2 squares of dark lindt chocolate.

Otherwise, life has been a tad overwhelming in our household. Luckily, hubby and I booked in a few days to the gorgeous Southwest earlier. We had total blast. We enjoyed nature, slept heaps and ate. Having a near 3 year old is never quite relaxing of course, but the down time was much needed.

Which brings me my next point, why is it that we struggle to take breaks? Do we need to redefine breaks? Does it have to be a long overseas holiday? Or a few days at home?

When hubby and I spoke about that, we realised that we can never quite “relax” at home. There is always a project or something that needs to be done. Those days are welcomed of course. We often feel accomplished when a section of the house has been decluttered, or if I have created meals that will last us for days. Taking a break for us, means not doing the daily responsibilities, getting out to enjoy nature, and family time.

We are still learning as a family of what we should do. No doubt it will change (kids club? Bring it on!). However, we shall take what we can for now!

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Raw Berry and Lemon Slice + Expectations

It has been a journey of self acceptance with my weight gain and loss journey. From time to time, there will be circumstances that would make me question if I’m doing the right thing or should I be “achieving more”.

Walking out of an appointment recently, it was suggested that the judgement of self was too high. A general checkup with a kind and warm doctor suggests that perhaps I have too much on my plate. I laughed. In case you are wondering, my physical health is great! Doc was more concerned about the level of expectations I have.

I laughed because deep down I have a fighter voice that query “is it enough” and “what could be better”. There is a certain drive that carries me. As a child, I was taught that it is the effort and self- discovery that counts more so than the results.

As a parent, I wondered if I carry that towards Ash. Did I suggest that he should know more because there is always something more to learn? Or have I provided a “I recognise the effort and I am proud” vibe?

As a wife, did I ever come across as always wanting more? Have I pushed my husband more than what he is ready for OR is it because of MY own expectations, but not recognising where he wants to be and what he wants?

As someone who loves good, health and fitness, what is the point of being on the quest of “being better” because it is endless. Still, not wanting to fall into the trap of being “getting by”.

Improvement I think is never enough. It is however a fine line between the intention of improving and competition with self. At the end of the day, there is no finishing line. It is about what we do best in God’s plan for us.

I love this refreshing slice. It’s a raw slice that I have attempted 2 variations (in my quest to “perfect” this). A raspberry and a blueberry version. Personally, I like the blueberry version better. Asher thinks it is “Ice cream cake” as it is creamy and filled with natural sweetness from the berries.

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Pumpkin Nourish Bowl with Apple Pie (Paleo, Gluten Free) + Connection

Connection.

The hardest bit about being married is to remain connected spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Hubby and I are great team players. We operate our household in sync. From meals, to budget to even parenting- we are the A team.

As life responsibilities increase (or perceived increase?), it is so easy to fall into the trap of talking about the everyday stuff or coordinating our time table. We became so tired that when we do talk, it is usually about something we have to do. Not how we are, or what we need… but the doing.

At home, I known to say it the way it is without mincing my words. Perhaps too harsh at times. On reflection, it is the way I speak to myself and it is a learning curve on how not to do that- because I never intend to have that sort of harshness to my husband and son. When I become tired though, those tolerances become lower.

Oddly, sitting and talking is hard for me just as it would hard for my hubby. There is a feeling of being drained. Like every piece of me has been taken away and it is much harder for me to connect emotionally to anyone. There would be some changes soon which I’m looking forward to.

1) We are starting to fall in love with the hills. From gorgeous fruit farms to our favourite cider place… not to mention its only 30 minutes. Even the drive up feels like we are going away somewhere

2) I resigned from one job. In August, I would just focus on having 1 job. That is a relief as it takes up quite bit of my mental head space

3) In July, I’m having a day off each week! What a luxury!

4) Hubby and I are trying to put time aside to just be with each other. Sometimes we don’t have to talk. Just presence is lovely. The other day, I found a cute little card with a love message from him. What a surprise! That used to happen heaps when we were dating so it is nice to feel that there are little touches, rather than us co-existing as life partners.

5) Every alternate Sunday, Hubby gets the morning to run while I handle breakfasts. I’m recognising how he benefit from alone time too.

So 5 little changes in our household in hope for a more peaceful and loving one. Talk about a mid year review!

So this little pumpkin nourish bowl was made when I had left over roasted pumpkin. Honestly it’s so easy to eat for breakfast. Top with some apple pie filling, it is warm and comforting as the cold 4C mornings set in.

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Turkish Delight + friends in motherhood

Enjoying a nourish bowl with a dear friend one afternoon, we spoke about how empty our tanks have become. Being a mother it seems is draining. Friendships are harder to maintain- not because you don’t want to but even typing on whats app seems tiring. Conversations become more curt and straight to the point. Not because we want to come across as snobbish or fussy, but because we have less energy to be tactful or waste time trying to be gentle.

The make up face. The clean clothes we are wearing. The weary smiles. Sometimes motherhood transform friendships. It is not because we don’t want to, but because in our quietness and straight to the point conversation we know that as long as our kids are happy, no one gets killed and we get coffee… the day is good. Very good.

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